The old country, the new country

I was born more than 3 decades ago in a prosperous (at the time) socialist/communist country in Europe.By the time I was 10 it was erased from the maps by a start of a war that will turn into years and years of never ending conflicts. That is how long I was a child, 10 years.That is how long my parents were able to see the future for me and my younger sister, and be sure they will be able to provide for us.After 1991, when Yugoslavia fell apart, or was literally torn apart, my life was very weird.
After the initial disbelief that this is actually happening to us, followed the bloodshed, killings, fear and eventual collapse of economy. Factories stopped, store shelves were empty and money lost it's value due to hyperinflation.My parents navigated the chaos the best they could, they kept going to work and bringing food home. They raised chickens in our backyard, they got wood for the stove we put in the house, once we lost electricity due to power shortages,they found a way to make preserves and stock up on flour and potatoes for the Winter...they kept on living and surviving for us.
It was not fun, I don't like to go there in my memories, but at least I wasn't kicked out of my house and we had food, others were not that lucky.
At one point, the hate that had risen out of the conflict which involved 3 main religions became very loud on the streets. My parents never raised me in either of their religions, we kinda lived in a communist country where it was not required of you to believe in anything but yourself, however, all of a sudden we started getting these papers at school that prompted us to choose a side, orthodox or catholic. I looked at them with genuine disgust, I refused to choose between my parents, one being in the first and other in the second religion, we always celebrated 2 Easters, 2 Christmas and they taught us to respect other people's choices in faith.At that point in my life I started to blame religion for all the bad things and wars around the world, everyone who comes from those places where people kill their neighbors in the name of the religion will know what I am talking about.I started to feel like I did not belong there because my mind could not see things black and white the way they wanted me to do, I just could not swallow the new wave of nationalism and hate, and I did not dare say that out loud.
Fast forward to my late twenties, I have managed to finish school for Early Childhood Educator, as well as the Teacher's University and to obtain license to teach ESL at public schools.I was married to a smart, kind man who had a degree in chemistry and master in IT, none of us was able to find proper work in a post war economy.We survived on what we could find, we lived in his parents house on the upper level that we had partially finished.We couldn't plan a family like that.In 2002 the pro-change prime minister of my country was murdered by his own policemen, we realized that there is no change for the better and no future for us there, we applied for Canadian visas the year when we got enough points to get into process, it was 2006.
We waited for the process to be finished for almost 4 years, in the meantime my son was born and then we waited a bit longer for his papers and visa to be done, he was only 3 weeks old on his first passport photo.Finally, in 2010 we were ready to go.
We had until mid June to immigrate and arrive to Canada,if we did not register here by then we would loose our visas. We bought our tickets for the end of May thinking it will ok.
Then a long named volcano in Iceland erupted for weeks , it moved, and postponed most of European and overseas flights, we became desperate to find a way to come, even looked at ships but the voyage was too long to get there in time...We finally landed here in the first week of June, in an overcrowded Alitalia plane, where my husband had to walk around so I could put my baby down for a few hours, it was the worst flight of my life.I was well aware that I bid goodbye to all of my friends, relatives, family, my former life and calling, and that I am now on my own, and that there is a chance that I might never see some of them again.
We landed in Toronto with 2 of the 3 suitcases we had packed with bare necessities, the one with baby clothes and diapers got lost, my son was to turn one the next week and I had no idea where he'll even sleep, we were crazy exhausted, our luggage stank of alcohol that leaked from someone else's case...I started to cry when the custom officer told me "Welcome to Canada."
We were then detained at the immigration with a young Roma girl coming from Germany with her baby, I started to chat with her in German and shared some baby cookies, when they realized I speak German they asked me to translate for them.We left an hour or so later and walked out to the Canadian side, it was a gray, cold rainy day over Toronto even though it was June and in my mind it was supposed to be hot and nice like the Summer I have left 13 hours behind me.
I remember thinking, looking at 401 "I will never learn how do drive here, everything is so huge, it's like a Japanese video game..."

Immigration has it's traps

I've been writing about my emigration for the last 6 years (more or less), I have tried my best to translate the old posts from the original blog to English but they don't make much sense unless you come from a similar place in the world, with similar views and problems, my posts are very -how should I put this- reflective of my point of view of the world and my feelings at the time.

So forgive me as you go trough this bumpy journey of my adventures before and now melted into one post, but I hope that you can appreciate the experience and information I share.

Post from 2010 our first Summer here:

I try to think of myself as a very down to Earth, realistic person.
Once you decide to immigrate and start fighting your way trough years of bureaucracy and paper work,hoping and waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel,all you can think about is how you will be ok and happy and relieved when you finally get here...What you don't know is this is when the actual fight and problems start, and all that paper filling and waiting, as it turns out, was not a big deal.
There are a lot of things you won't like once you immigrate to Canada, there are things that will hurt to accept ( and it will hurt a lot)especially if you don't come from US or perhaps Germany, if you come from a third world country you will feel what it means to start from 0.

I call us immigrants in the first year zero's,
because we do not exist in this country,we are not in the system, in the first months you will have no access to covered healthcare and the banks will shun you since you are not in their files either,no credit ratings lol,and most of the time we start from 0. This means your outside of Canada education is 0 here unless you were so lucky to have listened all of your school subjects in English, your driving experience is 0 (at least in the eyes of your future car insurance which will give you rates 5 times bigger than locals),your Canadian work experience (sooo necessary to get a job here)is 0 as well, your bank credit score is 0,and let's hope your language skills are not 0 because this will make your life really hard.
Add to this that the number of people I knew in Canada was 0 at the time I decided to immigrate.
The number of people who could help us here if we got in trouble (financially or otherwise) was 0 too.

You start (well, most of immigrants at least) as one big fat 0.First year is no job, no money, a lot of hopes and effort and for most in the first 2-3 months 0 success.
You won't like this at all.This is the first trap for you, high expectations.

The second one is not knowing yourself or your partner enough, the stress of immigration and being cut from the family and relatives changes how people feel, this sadness and the rest of the problems creates tensions and arguments.After a while being stuck or degraded from what you had, and where you were before you decided to come will bother either you or your partner, and none of you will like this.
You might blame the other person for your situation, you might say that out loud and turn on each other.But here is the catch, if we ever did that, we would be lost.There was no one else except the 2 of us to fight this battle for our child, and unless we worked together there was no way we could move forward, not a bit.

The third for me was the Canadian Winter.I had Winter before, usually it lasted from November till March, there was a lot of snow and cold and so on, I thought I can deal with Winter here...well, I was wrong.
I can't, and I hate it, it feels like it lasts forever and it ends sometime in June, there is no Spring for me, just a skip from Winter to Summer.But the more Canadian I become the more I understand the meaning of us being proud of our dealing with this season, yes it sucks big time, but it lights up when a neighbor cleans your walkway for you just to show they care, or when kids snuggle with hort chocolate watching a game on neighborhood ice rink we all helped to build, or when you let moms park on your drive way to drop off kids just because you live by the school...So, Winter is more Canadian than anything.

The fourth trap is the worst one.It is your assumption that this experience will not change who you are.
It will change you, it will change how you feel,it will change what you do for living and it will change what your life goals are.
If you ever decide to immigrate, please be aware of this- Immigration will break you to pieces, then it will be up to you to find the pieces that work and are acceptable in this culture and keep them, and you might find that some other things such as bad habits,some memories, cultural things and behaviors should be left in the corner.
Here is one thing I had to adjust to.In Eastern Europe, when you meet someone and he asks you "how are you?" it is quite ok to actually tell the truth, if you are sick, or have a headache or have been feeling not so well -you can share that with the person who asked the question, you can even complain a bit and he or she will nod their head in understanding and try to say something nice to comfort you.
Well, not here, unless you are seeing a nurse or a doctor, if you start complaining the person will look at you as though they are uncomfortable, all they wanted to hear is the usual "Fine , thank you" not your personal medical history and whining,in this culture you are oversharing and your personal things should stay that way, especially at work!

Everything is different, I am getting used to it - June 2010

Aca passed the test for G1,the total cost was about 130 $ plus some papers we had to get from the embassy and translations.The car must then go to the safety and emission test and if it passes we can register it, you have six days after the purchase to do this.You should inspect the car before you pay for it or take it to the mechanic to see if it has some problems, because if the car cannot pass safety and emission test you can not drive it.The guy who sold us the car wrote a note on a torn piece of paper, saying I sell this car to "other guys name" at this price $ and signed it, we did not have any contract or anything, we registered the car to our name with that piece of paper, got the new plates and drove it.
There are also some taxes to be paid, it is difficult for us to get used to the fact that the tax is added to the price later, in my former country what you see is what you pay, but not here.The bill at the end of shopping can be much higher after the taxes are added, some things like cosmetics and clothes or luxury items have higher taxes while food is usually tax free, but not all of it, I am still trying to figure out how this works.In Ontario we have HST- harmonized tax of 13%, that means that if you think you have item in your cart that cost 100$ you will pay 113$ at the register, if the item is electric appliance or computer you will also pay environmental tax.
We bought a lap top computer, it was advertised at a price of 450$, after the taxes, environmental fee and such were added we ended up paying 560 $, this was a bit unexpected because we thought we were going to pay the advertised price, but this is how Canadian prices work.
Alcohol is sold at Beer store and LCBO it is much more expensive here, cigarettes are sold at a gas station or in special shops, you will not see them advertised or displayed anywhere because it is not allowed, rarely anyone smokes here, again coming from a country where everyone smokes even some kids and you can buy alcohol anywhere you want this was a huge surprise.One pack of cigs will cost from 7$ and up, they are expensive.
I don't use them so I don't really care, I actually like that I can breathe freely everywhere I go, and I totally agree as a mother that minors should not have access to alcohol as they please.
Another big surprise was the price of real estate here, omg the houses cost a lot, in Toronto houses cost millions in smaller towns the average for a single house is 300.000 $ if you are lucky.You can see this on MLS or realtor canada
http://www.realtor.ca/index.aspx?cul=2&gclid=CjwKEAiA_s2lBRCe1YPXxtSe-DcSJACCIh3LJCRfm3ZYJSR_7pZTJyGGJvpkiAkASVFWScFDayf7NRoCf-zw_wcB&

The food costs pretty much the same as in my former country, which is crazy knowing that average income there is maybe 500, 600$ a month and here about 2000$.There you do not have enough money to cover food, utilities and living, and here if the whole family is on one minimum wage and they have a car it is not enough at the end of the month.The car is like one more child, that is what people say, you pay hundreds of dollars for gas and insurance, you pay maintenance, it takes a lot of money away from the monthly budget.
It is really hard to get somewhere without a car because in large cities like Toronto it can take more than an hour to get to somewhere, one street in Toronto can be 50 km long, I could have never imagined this before I came here.The public transportation is reliable, nice and clean and the kids don't pay up to a certain age, but it is not convenient for grocery shopping, if you plan to use it get a grocery bag that has wheels or a small pull cart.

In Kitchener and Waterloo we have a couple of markets that I really love, my favorite is St Jacobs farmers market.The food is fresh from farms and there is also eggs, meat and dairy products. I grew up getting my stuff from the market and I don't really like superstores and their unknown origin foods,I love Summer when we can go to the market on Saturday.
Shopping here is a bit like cavemen hunting around for food, except we hunt for good price, there is so many stores and they all have different prices for the same product.Sobeys is the most expensive one, Shoppers and Rexall are more expensive when it comes to some products than the other stores, what I mean is we buy Head and shoulders shampoo, in walmart it costs about 4 $, in PC stores about 5.5 to 6 $ at Shoppers it is 6.99 $ and so on, each item has different price in different store, you get store flyers weekly and you can see the prices and discounts there.We usually buy stuff at Fresco which has cheaper prices and Presidents choice stores that have a reasonable priced quality products.
Moving to Canada has been a huge cultural shock and an eye opener to me,I keep comparing my previous place and this every day.
There all houses are made of bricks to last hundred years and for next generation, here it's all made of lumber and plywood, you can hear every step and it all echoes and squeaks under your feet, it is so unpleasant.If someone sneezes on the top floor you can hear it in the basement.We do not have basements like this in our homes, they are not built because of ground water that floods them, but here the basement is actually another room in the house.
There people make their own house by themselves and fix stuff, here you are not allowed to do that because you do not have school for that or paperwork etc. everything needs to be done by a contractor who is licensed to do that work.
Garbage disposal is different, we stuffed everything in one sack and throw it in a bin, here everything is separated and recycled, there is even a compost bin.
The vehicles do not make smoke and pollution like as was used to in my other home, here when you walk by the road you can actually smell the flowers and clean air, not stench and fumes.
There is social assistance and welfare, families with kids get monthly financial support from the government, this is something new to me, but a really welcome change for us having a small baby.
Old people in Canada have a good quality of life, unlike in some other countries, they socialize and travel and they have good health care.
I am surprised that I can barely hear English on the streets, I do hear a lot of other immigrant languages, chineese, spanish, portugese,russian,indian, polish and other.
There is this one thing that I don't like though, people who come from somewhere tend to form ghettos,they cluster in one area of town because friends bring them there or find them rent and they get stuck in their own group and don't bother much to learn English and have better language skills.This does not help them to find a better job at all.They integrate into their own community and stay there.I did not want to go this way, because I am trying to escape from narrow minded people you meet in such ghettos and from the way of thinking filled with hatred and politics a lot of people from my former country still have in Canada, that was the main reason that made us leave the country and run away from wars and crises.
It's like living in that country all over again except here, no way and no thanks!

Driving in Canada-June 2010

Here's the thing,
I keep blaming myself for being too lazy to translate my huge Canadian immigrant experience blog into English, by now there are some 200 posts...and it's been here for the last 5 years but in my first language.I keep feeling guilty because I know there are so many things I needed to know and there was no one to tell me, to make my path and new life a little bit easier...and now I am not finding time to share them with other newcomers who will benefit from the things I have learned.
By now it has almost 400.000 visits, and it has brought some great people in my life and I know that it has helped many coming from my former country or neighborhood, so I decided not to translate all the posts, just to try to sum up things I found useful and important over the last couple of years.

Getting a drivers license in Canada

If you have driving experience from your former country you will need to bring a proof of that like your old driving license translated to English, you might be asked to get a letter from your embassy that you have a certain number of years of driving experience in order to get a chance to get full G Canadian driving license, you will need a certified translation of your driving document, a passport and PR card,as well as some money.
You can buy a car right away but you cannot register or drive a car without Canadian license, the international one is valid for only 2 or 3 months and you would have to rent a car.
More about that here http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/newcomers/after-transportation-driving.asp

When buying a car you should know that a car here has to pass safety and emission test first and then it can be registered to your name.

Basically you can call and ask which papers you need to bring and then go and take the test - examples here, the price in Ontario is less than 100$ there is more info here
http://www.ontario.ca/driving-and-roads/drivers-licence

You can take the test and the driving on the same day if you are ready, however keep in mind that the car insurance for newcomers is relentless and very expensive, as newcomers we used to pay up to 400$ per month sometimes, while an average Canadian driver pays about 100$ or even 80$. If you do the driving course with an instructor and he signs that, your insurance rate can be up to 30% lower in the future.It will cost you a couple of hundred dollars to take classes but it will be a good investment in the long run if it can keep your car insurance rate lower next couple of years.

The cost of insurance depends on where you live, where you work and who is driving the car beside you, also which insurance company you choose.Our best so far was TD.
Drivers handbook here

As you won't be able to have your own car for the driving test, consider renting one or renting from your driving instructor or if you have friend or family here borrowing from them.